Everyone seeks inspiration. Some from great personalities, some from quotes, and others from various other sources. I drew my inspiration from death of my grandfather; not instantly but after a considerably long time. It changed me from a struggler at IIT to a fighter and gave me periodic successes. Here I am presenting it in 3 parts. I hope it helps you in some way or other.
It was 24th May 2013, a summer morning. I was enjoying my summer break after a horrible first year, not mainly in terms of academics but some other issues. I came back to my hometown from a trip. My mother told me that my nana (maternal grandfather) wasnâ€™t well and asked me to visit him. I was tired, I procrastinated.
My nana could not hear since a long time. We had to literally shout near his ears to convey to him. As a result I hardly ever interacted with him. He was a simple man who retired as a senior clerk in health department. He lost his wife way back in 2006 and since then he devoted himself to god. Whenever I visited home, only few words were shared between us. But somewhere he was proud of me. When I got through JEE-2012, my picture was published in a local newspaper. I saw him crying of happiness and showing strangers my photo. Once he went on a walk and saw a page with my photo lying in thrash. He picked it up and brought back home.
I came to know that he was taking my name. He wanted to see me, probably for the last time. I did not know what happened to me but I left all my fatigue aside and went to see him. His face had got blackened and small. He was suffering from multiple kidney stones and renal failure. His body was trembling. He couldnâ€™t say anything but he kept on looking at me as if he was trying to say something. I couldnâ€™t see him like that so I pressed his leg and came back to my house. I realised that my laptop had got some problem and it wasnâ€™t working.
The next morning I was called to lend shoulder to his bier. That was the first funeral ceremony I attended. We took his body for cremation. I performed all rites that I was supposed to. But I wasnâ€™t sad. Not a single drop of tear fell from my eyes. Instead I was thinking about my laptop the whole time. That evening, IPL final was supposed to be held. While his body was being cremated, I was busy betting with friends over who was going to win the match. I came back home and started living a normal life.
It was my 3rd semester and I wasnâ€™t performing differently from last two semester. I had messed up my mid semesters and lost all my remaining confidence and hope of survival at IIT. I had simply accepted that I did not deserve a position in an IIT. It was Durga Puja and again I went back home. There I realised that I was portrayed as a role model to my cousins. A role model for what I felt myself incapable. That was the first time a strong feeling rushed through my nerves. What the hell was I doing? Wasting my time persuading and chatting with girls. Spending 8-10 hours of Facebook. That was I was doing back then. I got 7 days for introspection. I decided to strike back, at any cost. I drew myself back from every kind of social media. As simple as it sounds, the modern day culture especially at colleges does not make it so. But something was there, stuck in my heart.
One day, I plugged in earphones and roamed in the campus. It struck to me how evil, insensitive I was when I cared about my laptop but not my dead nana. The person who couldnâ€™t express his feelings, blessings to me. But his eyes used to say something. It wasnâ€™t before that day I figured it out. I wept over his death, 5 months from it. I could see the expectations in his eyes from me. In his life, he hardly expected anything from anybody. At every realization, I wept my heart out. This went on for 3 hours.
I donâ€™t know what but that day I intuitively decided something. I was a changed man; more sincere and more focussed. Every day I would remember him, before every exam I would take his blessings. I got an unexpectedly good CGPA. I only required one push which I had got. For the next two semester, I performed exceptionally, both in academics and extra academics. In June 2013, I lost my idol, my grandfather (dadaji), an even bigger shock for me.
Now I am again going through a low point in my life. Things are going against me but I know I can pull things back. No one can say what inspirational incident take place in the next moment and change your life. Death is unfortunate but inspiration can be drawn even from it.
I know these two great persons are watching me and will not let anything wrong happen to me.